A Very Busy Three Weeks

Hi Everyone...these last three weeks have been very busy for the McIntyres and I feel badly that in not keeping the blog current, some misinformation has begun to circulate about my health. I apologize and want you to get the "the straight scoop" directly from "the horse's mouth."

Physically, my condition has deteriorated over the last three weeks and recent tests and appointments have given us some reasons as to why. My energy level has been very low due to my blood counts and I have been back to Yale a couple of times for units of blood. I have also had increasing difficulty with mobility. In a week's time I went from unsteady walking to being unable to stand or walk without assistance. Presently I use a wheelchair to get around. When I saw the doctor he was not surprised by these changes in my situation, knowing the aggressive nature of my cancer. He ordered an MRI this week to get a grasp on what was taking place.

The MRI showed that the nerves in my lower spinal area are being compressed due to the cancer growth. The good news is that the cancer in that area is treatable and I have already begun radiation treatments. Even with just two treatments "under my belt", I can already sense a difference in my body and am encouraged.

During these past three weeks the McIntyre's home has been a very busy place. We celebrated Andrea's birthday with a surprise visit from her two sisters. Also, Elise and Krista planned their own homecoming surprise for mom. More recently two of my college buddies visited and we had a great time of catching up and encouraging each other. So between birthday celebrations, visits from old friends, doctors' visits and increasing physical struggles, it has been a busy time.

How am I doing personally? Well, I face some great challenges in the future. Stamina is low and my body is just plain weak. I continue with a very healthy diet to build it up as best I can. I've had considerable pain due to the nerve compression and just getting around the house is about as big a challenge as I can handle right now. However, I look forward to my physical condition improving as the radiation shrinks the cancer away from the nerves and especially as God's people continue to pray for my healing.

While the physical struggles are real and can be greatly discouraging, I want you to know that I continue to be greatly encouraged in the Lord. He is faithful to His promises and has provided all that I need. He is still in the miracle performing business and I ask that as you pray about all these things, that you remember to praise God for His goodness and to ask Him to do a great work of grace that reveals His power and glory with great clarity.

Thanks for your cards, email comments, Facebook posts, offers of help, phone calls, etc. They are all appreciated. What makes me sad is that I just can't respond to most of them. So, please know the grateful heart that receives them even though I don't have the opportunity to respond to them.

A Moment Apart!

Both Body and Spirit are going to be blended together tonight by one event that has just blessed me so deeply and ministered so profoundly, I feel like I could burst! For those of you who say, "That's a little dramatic, wouldn't you say, Dave?" I would respond, "Sorry, you weren't there Sunday night!"

Body: Many who follow this blog are part of Calvary Church and you know that a special prayer service was called for this past Sunday evening to pray to the Lord, asking for a miracle of healing which He is able to perform at any moment. The staff insisted we have the meeting in the FLC because they felt too many people would come to be handled well in the Sanctuary. They were right. So, with this large audience of those who love me and desired to come before God in prayer for me (including so many from Living Hope, our church plant of two years ago), I was in a pretty wonderful place...even though I had experienced a very tough day physically.

In thinking about this service, I had some very specific things in mind that I wanted to share, so I was the primary spokesman that evening. I shared from James 5 about the elders anointing with oil and offering prayer in faith. And the congregation participated silently as the elders came, anointed me with oil and prayed boldly and passionately about that which was the desire of our hearts. It was a stirring time.

Then the congregation prayed in small groups and later from open mics about the request of our hearts for a miracle on my behalf. I was so grateful to be there and to be prayed for in such passionate, bold, confident, and joyful ways. It was remarkable.

Spirit:

But this is where the evening just took my joy to a new level. You see, I had addressed those gathered about the reason we pray so tentatively. We almost hide behind, "if it be Your will" or "according to Your will." It's like throwing that phrase in there makes the prayer "safe" (because I don't want to pray something that isn't God's will). We often times don't know how to balance confidence, boldness and passion in prayer with God's will...as if they were in conflict with each other!

So I reminded the believers that the Bible says we are children of the King who have the unstoppable power of the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus Christ from the dead living in us and inviting us to offer big requests of a God who can do great things. I also shared with them that when I made a request of my dad as a kid, I asked with all my heart. First, because I really wanted whatever I was asking about. But second, I knew that he had ultimate veto power and would decide what was truly best...so I was free to ask with confidence and passion, according to what I knew was important to his heart.

That was something the Lord had just burned into my heart in planning the service and I prayed that it would be shared clearly and understood correctly. To then watch God's people grab it and apply it in prayer was amazing.

Not only did they pray that way for me, but this is where the evening took off into another realm. You see, my long term goal for the evening was that this not just be a prayer service for Dave McIntyre, but a prayer service for people in need who were asking for people to come alongside and lift them up in prayer. And that is what they did! I was so blessed to see our elders ministering in powerful ways as people came up and shared requests with them; they summarized the requests to the congregation and scores of people would jump to pray for that person in a huddle. The requests kept coming and the people kept rejoicing in the privilege of praying boldly before the Father. I praised God as I saw prayer circles all around the FLC, knowing they were bringing the requests of their brother and sisters to God boldly and in faith.

My heart was blessed beyond measure Sunday night. As my body struggles, my heart continues to grow and soar in Him.

Please continue to pray -- the down days come and, already since Sunday, moments of fear and frustration and discouragement have come knocking...but we've sent them packing each time, thanks to His grace.

Making The Most Of Our Time

Body: I continue with the new diet and regimen...almost a week into it. It has presented some special challenges for Andrea as she has much extra preparation of foods. But, as is normally the case, she does it all with love and graciousness.

I met with my doctor last Friday and we discussed the limited options that chemo offers. I indicated that I was ready for a change in direction. He suggested that we meet this week to finally discuss treatment options. That meeting will take place this afternoon. I'm hoping that I'll not only understand the various support services that Yale can offer but how I am to proceed with evaluations of my condition and proactive treatments for pain management.

The pain in my bones is becoming more regular. I often take a pain pill for a portion of the day. However, I continue to wait on the Lord and am so grateful for so many who pray in faith asking God for His miracle. I truly am blessed. My schedule is pretty open since I really can't commit to much of anything at present. I'm resting a lot and eating a lot!

Spirit: Romans 13:5-14 "Making The Most Of Our Time"

The urgency of living well and enjoying each moment is not lost on a person in a life and death struggle with cancer. Often a special phrase comes along to emphasize the point. In a Puritan Prayer, I read, "May I speak each word as if my last word, and walk each step as if my final one. If my life should end today, let this be my best day."

Great sentiment! How do I do that? There are many different statements of it, but Romans 13 has to be one of the most concise and simply stated yet thorough. Let our only outstanding debt be to love others -- a debt which is never finished because of the enormity of Jesus' love for us. Paul even states that love fulfills the Law fully...because everything in the Law is either about loving God or truly loving others. Love only does what blesses and benefits. Finally, he summarizes it nicely in vs 14: clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus and not the desires of the flesh. Pretty simple and straight forward. Pretty thorough and accurate. An incredibly high standard by which to live.

That's how you are prepared for your last day on earth, for the trumpet to sound, for God to call us home!

How do I love better today? How do I look more like Jesus this day? Where does His love come out, spontaneously or planned? What a special privilege the day holds and in its unscripted way, I write the play. Let's title it, "Dave's Best Day!" and then compare it to tomorrow's version of "Dave's Best Day!" Love for God and others being the key measure.

"Lord, I am weak and distracted by a number of things. No excuse! May today's version of 'Dave's Best Day!' bring joy to Your heart and a smile to my lips...and some wonderful surprises to people along the way."

Refreshed, Revived and Redirected

Body: The PET scan's results of December 23 were quite a surprise. What was supposed to be a simple confirmation of good results from treatment and radiation revealed quite the opposite. We spent that evening as a family working through the disappointment and shock, which was a wonderful time for us. Then we watched as the Lord provided us with grace and strength to focus our attention on the birth of His Son and the wonder of that incredible miracle, a Baby that changes everything...which would benefit us.

Because the cancer had become so aggressive, I had an MRI that day (12/23) and began radiation treatment to drive the cancer back from my spinal column beginning the next morning. Twelve treatments were prescribed and have been completed which has relieved much pain from my back (although I still have a very numb jaw). Daily trips to Yale did not stop us from having a wonderful time as a family during this relaxed season. We even made a trip into NYC for a day. Time with the girls and extended family kept me focused on God's blessings and goodness.

It was clear, though, that something would need to change...and change soon. This aggressive cancer was continuing to work and I wasn't sure what the next step should be. In evaluating options, many have suggested a wide variety of offerings and each one has been appreciated because I know the hearts from which they come. However, I have made a decision to continue working with Yale where their treatment options are helpful, and to go to a naturopathic approach with very specific diet and supplements. I have started this regimen which will take several weeks to implement fully. For this reason, I won't be as accessible as I would like since I really need to focus on taking care of and resting my body.

In addition, I have taken great encouragement from the Word of God and His power to heal His people. This is a powerful area where God has challenged me and I'll be sharing more in a few moments.

So, for now, I am refreshed because of time with family and the miracle of God sending a Baby; revived from the sense that nothing more can be done; and redirected to new ways to pressing on for His glory and for our good as His church.

Spirit: "Your Very Great Reward" Genesis 15:1

There is always much to learn from our Heavenly Father. Things we think we know and have mastered are often areas where He needs to take us to greater depth of understanding. Such has been the case with me and I humbly share it with you.

From my earliest diagnosis of lymphoma, I have proclaimed my trust in His will and plan for my life. I have tried never to question or doubt His wisdom. He knows what is best and I trust Him implicitly.

I haven't wavered from that confidence through the many treatments I've received. Yet with each discouraging report, I would be struck by that same conviction, "He is in control and I will trust Him!" There were times when I needed to adjust my mindset and take some time to regather my thoughts, but throughout this journey, I have truly desired to proclaim my faith and confidence in His power to heal and accomplish His purposes.

December 23's report was different than the others and therefore had to be wrestled with more deeply. It also challenged my faith more deeply because it bore down hard to where my true faith and confidence lay. Was I just saying my confidence was in God but as man's treatment options failed, my faith was shrinking and fear was rising? Or was this the moment God was waiting for...the moment in which all my sources of confidence were shattered and He was all I had left!! We sometimes fool ourselves in our statements. We mean what we say, but we have an escape hatch, a fall back position, a safety valve for "rescue."

Since December 23, I have realized that I have nothing but God. He is IT!! Finis!! Done!! The End!! Unless He steps in and performs His miraculous work, I will not survive. And that has been a great comfort, because He IS enough!!

To Abraham, God said in Gen. 15:1, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward." What a wonderful descriptor of my relationship with God. It's where I always want to be. The uncertainties are enormous, but I do not need to be afraid. God is my protector...that's what a shield is all about. It keeps the enemy and his blows at bay. I am protected. And being His child is not just a blessing...it is a reward...a great reward...a very great reward. There's no greater reward on earth and no more thorough way to have the needs of life met! This isn't a reward I earned but one He gave through His Son. I am His child. He is sufficient!! Being close to Him is the greatest place to be. He will heal as He desires.

I am claiming that blessing of healing and would ask you to pray for His healing for me. But above all else, as my Father, He IS the reward...a huge, over-the-top reward. I am pressing on "Refreshed, Revived and Redirected" for His glory and looking for His continued hand of blessing on my life.

Will you join me?

Disappointing News

Body: The news from the doctor today was not what we had hoped. I feel badly not being able to give some encouraging news to you. So many of you have emailed, texted, called and commented on the fact that you are praying for me and my family. I'm truly grateful and deeply blessed.

However, the PET scan revealed that the cancer has spread and is no longer confined to the lymph system but has become a systemic issue. Some of you who have spent time with me recently know that I have had some upper back and neck pain. I had thought this was from working out at the gym too aggressively too early. But it is because the cancer is pressing against the spinal column. As the doctor showed us the PET scan, it lit up like a Christmas tree...and that is NOT a good thing.

He sent me down immediately for an MRI so next steps could be planned. The immediate concern is the spinal cord, so radiation is being scheduled to begin tomorrow! I received a call from the doctor this evening as I was coming home and I will be in his office at 10:00 am tomorrow. This will probably be just 10 radiation treatments.

Meanwhile, I'll be starting on some new meds and my doctor will be giving a new type of chemo in the near future to try to address the many other places where the cancer is active.

I won't try to be coy or cute or brave, this was hard news for our family and we are working it through before the Lord this evening. Thanks for praying for us.

Spirit: Over the last several days I wondered what I would share with you on the blog tonight and what has just hit me is this: I'd like to share a "patchwork quilt." A patchwork quilt often has great significance because each of the patches either represents something special or is taken from a fabric which has special meaning. So here is the patchwork quilt I share with you this evening. I know it will keep us all "warm" in His grace:

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:21-26

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want..." Psalm 23:1

A friend reminded me of a message my dad preached a number of times from Genesis 22 where Abraham is asked to sacrifice Isaac but at the last moment God provides a substitute. And Abraham learns another name for God, "The Lord Will Provide." Genesis 22:14

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far..." Philippians 1:21-23

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

There will probably be a number of updates over the next few days, so I may just add a few more "patches" to the quilt with each update. This quilt could get pretty big, pretty fast!! Thanks for praying and caring.

25 Down, 0 To Go!!

Body: Yes, you read it right! I finished my radiation treatments yesterday morning and can gratefully say that the side effects have not been too difficult to endure. I was prepared for something much worse than I experienced and I know that fervent prayer has played a critical role in this entire process of being carried through treatment. Other than some X's on my body which should wear off sometime:-); a little difficulty with swallowing which I'm told will quickly improve; and some chest and back redness from the radiation, I'm doing great. I didn't experience the severe reactions that "might have been" and my strength has actually improved over the last three weeks. Even my hair has started returning (just in time for winter)!! Thank you for praying for me and my family.

A PET scan has been scheduled for December 23 at Yale. This will help us determine the effectiveness of the radiation and check the rest of my body for evidence of cancer. Obviously, this is another important test, which my Father already knows all about. Please join me and my family in praying for clear results.

Spirit: God's Work Continues Acts 12:1-19

What an incredible miracle the Lord accomplished in bringing Peter out of prison in spite of being guarded by sixteen of Rome's finest soldiers. The story is filled with miracle after miracle. What makes it especially exciting is that this is a "last minute" rescue. Peter was going to trial the next morning!! Our God is able!! What a great story of His intervening power on display.

Something easily missed in all the excitement is that fervent prayer is taking place at the same time the miracles are occurring. Even though the answer to the believers' prayers was standing right outside their door, the weakness of the their faith is clearly evident. "It couldn't be Peter," they said. "He's in prison. The person knocking must be 'his angel'!" (verse 15) We ask for a miracle...and then explain it away when it occurs! Amazing and yet, I can identify!

As I have journeyed through this struggle with cancer, I'm so grateful that people whose faith is imperfect, just like mine is, have been fervently praying for me. I know that if the Lord chooses to heal me, the role of passionate prayer by a host of brothers and sisters in Christ cannot be minimized. It is amazing what He is able to do through frail vessels like us. If we see God's hand of healing at work, let's not doubt that HE has done GREAT things! May His work be an impetus for more fervent prayer and greater, stronger and more mature faith.

It IS my prayer that as we reflect back on this journey in the future, we will all be able to rejoice in God's powerful hand overcoming this cancer. But let me also point out another very important part of this passage. In verse 2 we see that instead of saving James, the Lord allowed him to be killed by Herod. In one instance, God answers through a remarkable series of miracles; in another, the Lord allows His own to be killed. Both are part of His plan; both are allowed by His loving hand; and both bring glory to His name.

There are mysteries to God's will which only the heart of God can fathom. In my mind, the "Peter" scenario is far better than the "James" scenario. That is what I pray will take place as I consider my situation. However, I am gratefully and trustingly in God's hand to further His Kingdom as He sees fit. If He chooses not to heal, my faith (our faith) in His greatness and goodness must not be diminished. My focus on His face must only be intensified. He truly knows what is best...and that is sufficient.

So, we win either way, as long as we remember that He is great and good in all He does and that the building of His Kingdom is truly the most important issue!

Radiation Underway

Body: 9 down, 16 to go!! The countdown continues. I'm 9 radiation treatments into a 25 treatment schedule. Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have been getting emails and Facebook posts wondering what is happening.

So far the treatments are going well and there have been no noticeable side effects. There is a cumulative effect, so there may be some "surprises" waiting for me down the road. The doctor indicated that after treatment 10 I may begin to feel some effects. Thanks for praying.

I should finish up with all 25 treatments the day before Thanksgiving. Guess what I'll be thankful for this year!!

For those who are wondering about evaluating the effectiveness of these treatments, let me share the general schedule with you. I will not know anything new until the next PET scan which the oncologist says will take place in late December. The full effect of the radiation treatments won't be clear until three months after completion according to the radiologist. That's because there is inflammation which needs time to heal.

So, I feel I'm in a situation like the World War II pilots faced. The order to proceed with the mission has been given and we are under "total blackout" conditions until the mission is complete. There will be a couple months of "silence" while the mission proceeds and I'll be happy to give you results when there are any to share. Thanks for praying.

Spirit: The Right Words John 12:50

It is always so encouraging to speak a word and have confidence that it is exactly the right word for the situation. Jesus always had that feeling according to John 12:50, "So whatever I say is just what the Father has told Me to say." The reason He always had that feeling according to His own statement is not because He is God, but because He only said what the Father told Him to say. What's the difference? He IS God and He and the Father ARE one (John 10:30).

In one sense, they are the same; there is no difference, which is why I find Christ's statement interesting. The Godhead knows fully and communicates perfectly, so anything any One of them says is perfect. In another sense, though, there is a big difference and a significant instruction point for me. Jesus spoke only what the Father told Him to say. He listened and repeated. He didn't question, doubt, revise, re-word, shift or clarify. He just stated and repeated. His great concern was to hear His Father's voice...and repeat what the Father said. If that was important for Jesus here on earth, how much more important is it for me?

The closer I stick to the Word, the more confidence I'll have in what I say. The more His Word fills my life, the more it shapes my attitudes and words...and the more confidence I can have in their worth, accuracy and helpfulness; even when they are words of confrontation. This time I spend each morning in the Word is the most important time and appointment I have all day because it prepares me to speak with confidence in a variety of contexts.

"Lord, thank you for this time in Your Word. May I pay close attention so that Your truth permeates my being. I want to have something to say which reflects Your Word deeply etched into my soul."