Calling Out the Prayer Warriors!!

Body: Since my entry on Tuesday, I've been gaining strength and feeling so much better. I was able to work a full day yesterday and would have today except for my appointment at Yale for blood work.

The blood work revealed that my white counts are very low (I now have an "LL" next to my white count number...which is not good) and my red counts are getting there (still just one "L"). With the travel and funeral this weekend, the staff is very concerned about infection and went through the "drill" with me several times and from several angles.

Would you please pray that I am able to travel safely to and from Wisconsin; spend time with the extended family appropriately; and minister at the funeral of my father-in-law?

Yale staff still believe I'll be OK for chemo next week, which would be my heart's desire.

Spirit: Just want you to know that I am enjoying a peace that passes understanding. The Lord is good!

Quick Update

Body: Most of you are aware that I started a new regimen of chemo because of the "stubborn spot" revealed in the recent PET Scan. The three days of infusion went very well and I was able to do a graveside service on Friday for the Sampson family and a funeral service on Saturday for the Lewis family. The cumulative effect of this chemo began to really hit on Saturday.

There are a couple of needs that I share with you. The neuropathy (numbness in the fingers and feet) has been a real challenge and just plain old tiredness. I have found myself needing to rest a lot more than I would like...and not fighting it at all!

I'll have a blood test on Thursday which will likely reveal that the chemo has made blood counts very low. Please remember me in prayer with those low blood counts as our family gets on a plane on Friday along with all those recirculated germs to head for Wisconsin to be with family after the death of "Dad" Landru. This will be a bittersweet time as we remember a life well lived and mourn the loss...but not without incredible Hope in the Savior.

Spirit: Resting and waiting in the hope that does not disappoint. With confidence in the King and a desire to serve Him well...PD

My Portion, Settled and Sure

Body: I am now the proud possessor of a port! The procedure went very smoothly and in 2 1/2 hours, I was out and on my way. The port will make all the nurses in the chemo treatment area smile when I walk through the door, rather than run. Seriously, for that which is upcoming, this will save my veins and ease their job of administering the treatments.

The word is that tomorrow morning at 8:30 a.m. I have blood drawn and 9:10 a.m. the first infusion of the new chemo. Thanks for your prayers.

Spirit: My Portion, Settled and Sure Lamentations 3:24f

Like many favorite passages of Scripture, Lamentations 3:22-23 (...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.) has a larger context which is often missed. In reading this passage yesterday I was struck by vs 24, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."

When Israel was in Egypt, God promised them a portion in the promised land. That promise and that portion kept them going. It was their inheritance; the "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow"; the paycheck at the end of a long hard work week.

As Jeremiah surveyed the devastation all around him after Jerusalem's destruction, all he had was the Lord...and that was enough. He is my portion, my inheritance, my reward. No matter what was destroyed in the onslaught against Jerusalem, his portion could not be taken.

But he must have felt pretty empty as he looked around and saw the smouldering ruins and heard the groans of his people. That's where the most striking part of the statement comes in: "...therefore I will wait for Him." Because of the choice he has made as to his inheritance/reward (the Lord), he now indicates what his responsibility is: to wait. If God is God, then waiting for Him to act is the wisest thing a man/woman can do. If He is sufficient, then He is worth waiting for and waiting upon.

I find it also interesting that a choice he made in the past (decision concerning his "portion") puts into motion his plan of action now ("waiting"). He is not overwhelmed with, "What should I do?" "Where should I go?" "When should I act?" He knows the next move is God's...and he is to wait.

What that waiting looks like is described in vs 25-33. It involves time alone, struggle, even adversity and opposition. While it may seem at times that God has abandoned him, he is confident of God's compassion and His unfailing love in the end. Why? Because God is his portion!! So, whatever occurs, his course is set because of the "portion" he has chosen. His job description is also clear: wait!

This is a helpful section of Scripture for me as I go through this treatment for cancer. It reminds me of my job right now: waiting in quiet submission before Him, whatever is going on in life. It also reminds me that what I do now is the result of choices made years ago when God, in His grace, allowed me to see that He is what life is all about; He is the "grand prize." To know and love Him is what makes life meaningful. So, because He IS my portion, I will wait and watch to see His hand at work.

"Lord, You are my portion...the whole pie...all that matters. I wait for You to act concerning this cancer...whatever it may bring. May I not miss what You are doing and teaching."

PET scan update

It's Andrea, this time....a visiting "writer" to this blog. We're a little pressed for time tonight, since we have to be at Trumbull High soon. So while Dave is eating dinner, I am posting an update from our visit to the doctor this afternoon.

Dr. Cooper was disappointed to see that the PET scan showed that there was still a spot of cancer -- it's 80-90% gone, but there is still a spot that showed up on the PET scan. Usually, he says that by the 4th round of chemo, they don't find anything on the PET scan and then the 5th and 6th treatments are kind of like "clean up" chemos. Since there still is cancer there, he wants to change the last two treatments to a different kind of chemotherapy which uses different drugs. He said that the residual lymphoma cancer cells that are still there MAY be resistant to the other treatment he was on, and using the new drugs may prove to be effective on these resistant cells.

Treatment WAS going to be on Tuesday, as originally scheduled, but they want to have a port put in first so that giving the treatments from now on will be easier. -- The nurses who had a hard time finding a decent vein for the infusions will be happier, too! :) SO, we are supposed to get a call tomorrow, letting us know when the port will be put in next week and then they will tell us when the treatment will start. We are guessing Dr. Cooper wants to stay as close to the schedule as possible, so if he gets the port on Tuesday, we are thinking that he may have treatment on Wednesday. Stay tuned....!

This new treatment is a little different...instead of being given all in one day, like we have been used to, it will be given in 3 consecutive days. Then he will have a 2 or 3 week break before getting the last treatment. When we asked about side effects, he said it all depends....some people think it's the same as the other chemo, some think the chemo we are on now is worse, and others think the new chemo Dave will be having has worse side effects. Obviously, we continue to pray for healing of ALL the cancer and it would be really nice if the side effects are not any worse than what he has been experiencing.

The plan of action after these last two treatments is kind of like before.....after his blood cell counts "recover", they will harvest his stem cells. When they have enough, he'll have the 6-day- every-day chemo "blast" to "wipe out everything" (as the doctor says). Once that is done, they will put the stem cells back in and then do another PET scan. If it is all clear, he still wants to do radiation on the spot where the cancer was concentrated just to make sure there is nothing left.

The time frame of all this?? We really have no idea...but we know the Lord does and we continue to trust Him for each day and for His perfect timing and perfect will. Thanks SO much for all your prayers!

In Wrath, Hope And Tenderness

Body: Have you ever turned suddenly, walked into a low tree branch, and almost knocked yourself out? You stagger for a moment, wondering if anyone got the license plate number of the truck that hit you! Well, that's what the last couple of days have been like for me.

We had a great weekend at the wedding in Nashville. The family was together; the wedding went smoothly; and we traveled back safely, arriving about 12:30 am Monday morning. What a delight!

As a result of the over-the-top weekend, I knew Monday would be tough as I came off some of the medications (steroids). Wow! I didn't move too much (and didn't care to, either); slept a lot; and then slept some more. Talk about feeling "wimpy!"

Today was definitely better, but still challenging. On the medical front, today's blood counts were low but not too bad and the nurse was encouraging. I have the PET scan tomorrow and see the doctor on Thursday.

Thanks for your prayer support for me and my family. Definitely needed and appreciated!!



Spirit: "In Wrath, Hope And Tenderness" Jeremiah 23

You know what amazes me about God? It's the way He disciplines. In Jeremiah 23 we see a great example of His full dealing with rebellious Israel. There is firm, certain, harsh judgment awaiting Israel. Make no mistake -- God sees it all (vs 23-24) and He will judge (vs 12, 14b-15, 19-20). But notice how He begins the chapter with hope (vs 1-8). Here is the way it WILL be; here is what the True Shepherd WILL do. This is what God WILL do after judgment on the false shepherds and disobedient people. Also notice in vs 9 the sadness of heart in Jeremiah over these prophets and the message of judgment that must be given. His heart breaks for the people and he is overwhelmed by the Word of God he must deliver to them.

It is this mark of tenderness in Jeremiah and the message of hope from God that distinguishes Christianity from any other religion. God LOVES us, and I must always remember that in dealing with those created in His image and for whom Jesus died. People may do despicable and evil things, but anger and wrath must not rule my heart. Love must be at the base -- the love of God. It is only when I weep for those who are in rebellion that my heart is becoming like that of my Savior.

"Lord, You give stern messages in Jeremiah, but when I look closely, I can always see hope, mercy and love for Your people. Help me to remember and emulate. May my heart be broken for those facing Your judgment."

A Hard Word

Body: What a day! After I arrived at Yale and had blood drawn, I went to the infusion area. They had no record of my appointment and no orders for chemo for today. Not to worry, we got it all straightened out and I was able to speak with my doctor for 15 minutes about the scheduling issues and other topics that were on our (Andrea's and my) minds. I did have chemo #4 today (two thirds done!) and am feeling tired but grateful for a loving family and praying congregation. We were finished and on our way home by about 3:30pm.

Also, I got the scoop on which scan my doctor wanted. It IS the PET scan (and he explained why...so if you are interested you can ask me). THAT scan is now scheduled for next Wednesday morning with an appointment with the doctor that afternoon for results. So there is a delay in knowing how effective the treatments are, but they are moving ahead anyway. I have much to be thankful for this evening. Thanks for your prayer support.

Spirit: Jeremiah 21-22 "A Hard Word"

These are two of the hardest chapters in the Bible. I'm sure they were hard messages to deliver...and hard messages for God to give. There is no grace here. It is time to "pay the piper" and there is no more to be said. The only "out" is in Jeremiah 21:8-9: to surrender. If they surrender, they will survive. There is no alternative, that is it.

"I have determined to do this country harm and not good." (Jeremiah 21:10) How would you like to hear those words about America? The king's death will not be mourned (22:18); he will have the burial of a donkey (22:19). Of another king, he will be recorded as childless (22:30) because none of his descendants will rule. How stark; how final; how cold.

There are times when a hard word is more true and more needful than a word of comfort, encouragement or grace. Confrontation is an important part of God's call. He doesn't get to this point often, but He does get there and His mouthpieces need to be willing to deliver that message. I struggle with that. I hate displeasing and offending. I want to speak hope and comfort...and that is God's usual message. But I need to be willing to speak His displeasure and discipline too...if I'm truly His called one.

"Lord, I don't do it well and I need to do it better, but Lord, help me to speak the hard word in tenderness and through tears...as You would."

False Prophets

Body: You need to know that I'm feeling well, BUT I have fallen into the computer "black hole" at Yale so didn't have my PET scan today! When calling to confirm, I found my appointment was not in the computer, so I hadn't gotten my "robot call" confirming my appointment, telling me I shouldn't eat or workout. I had done both (and had a VERY good workout, I might add!).

So, if confirmed tomorrow, I am scheduled for something on Wednesday (discussions being whether it should be a PET or CT scan....stay tuned). I do have chemo tomorrow, but since the assessment test has been delayed, I won't get the results until next week.

Spirit: Jeremiah 14:13-16 "False Prophets"
I've always wondered how the false prophets got their start. Did they just say one day, "I'm pretty good with words. No one will know whether what I say is true or not. I can make a few bucks by telling people what they want to hear." I doubt it. I think it was gradual. They may have genuinely sought God and felt they heard from Him at some early points in their career. They may have gotten a few things right early on in their predictions.

Or, as they started their ministry, they may have noticed that certain themes and messages and phrases were "winners." People liked hearing them and were encouraged and helped by them. It kept the people positive and working together. Of course, they may have been motivated from the beginning by a desire for money and influence. The answer is probably a whole host of motivations and circumstances.

How many preachers, Sunday School teachers and Bible study leaders come close to the category of "false prophets?" -- People who handle God's Word as a proof text or a manual with favorites to pull out for every occasion. They are good at quieting, assuring, comforting and encouraging others, but rarely challenge them or help them really "dig in" to the Word for themselves; People who do it for the money, recognition or influence but forget that this call is to bring people to God's truth; People who won't say hard things, only easy, desired things, convenient things; People who face serious judgment. I wonder.

"Lord, I ask You to make me a Jeremiah. May I hear Your voice clearly and only speak Your heart to Your people. Not for influence or money or recognition, but for Your glory and approval alone."