Welcome to "Hope Does Not Disappoint"


There are two key reasons I have finally decided to join the world of blogging:

First, my cancer has become active and there is a loving congregation and many family & friends who want to keep track of what is taking place. This provides a way for me to update them as often and with as much detail as they desire.

Second, the Lord often links Scripture with circumstances in life for a much more potent 1 - 2 punch. I have already found that to be true and I hope to share some of those lessons for those who are interested.

So almost every entry in this blog will have two parts to it: Body (what's happening physically with the treatments) and Spirit (what God is sharing as I open His Word).

Thanks for visiting. I hope some of the "Points Along The Road" in my journey are helpful and encouraging to you.

Dave




Saturday, March 26, 2011

Our Dad

Closing thoughts about our Dad from his three girls.

We grew up roaming the halls of this building. Running up and down the seemingly large staircase to the office labeled “Pastor Dave McIntyre.” To most, that was the title he was known by and the title most will remember him by, but to us, he was always Daddy first.

Our Dad taught us many things throughout our lives that have shaped who we are and who we still aspire to be. Some are serious but some are funny. Dad taught us to always be creative when it comes to Halloween costumes, and to never be afraid to laugh at yourself…even if that means the whole church gets to laugh along with the sermon illustration. He taught us it’s never a bad idea to have an absurd amount of jolly ranchers in your office and to never give up on our Dallas Cowboys and Michigan football teams. He taught us to have a healthy love of Sunday afternoon football, and to never interrupt with questions until commercials because he was in the “football zone.” He taught us how to stack wood properly, how to effectively rake leaves into a tarp, and how to cut the grass on a rider mower. (We learned how to avoid doing all three on our own) He tried to teach us to have a love of action movies, but we ended up usually watching something like Pride and Prejudice or You’ve Got Mail. Our Dad often rolled his eyes at his ridiculous girls, but we never felt more love than we did from our Daddy growing up.

In addition to all the funny life lessons, Dad taught us about integrity. Whether playing board games when we were children, or when we begged to go to China Town to buy fake coach purses, Dad always told us to live in a way that was pleasing to God. This integrity also bled into the way he treated people in his life. Dad was always honest and open with people who came to him in his office or approached him after church. There were times he couldn’t agree with their actions, or what they believed, but he always spoke the truth in love.

Throughout our lives Dad also lived out having a servant’s heart and made that something that we desired as well. No job was too small for Dad to do at Calvary Church. We remember stuffing bulletins on a Saturday night, turning off lights and securing the church after everyone had gone home, hosting numerous families for holidays, and even cleaning up coffee spills during Sunday School. Dad was a servant and throughout his life, made sure that we knew God’s desire for servant’s hearts as well.

It’s no secret that Dad had the gift of writing. Expressing himself through words is one of the main ways we can all remember him. As Dad wrote sermons, he poured out the words the Holy Spirit laid on his heart for the people of Calvary Church. We also benefitted from many a letter and short email or note that came our way during difficult moments as we grew up. Dad always seemed to know exactly what to say to express his love…and make us cry. We’ve recently realized that we’re not the only ones who received cards, emails, or letters during difficult moments. His writing always had an underlying note of love and this is another lesson we’ve learned from him. Dad loved people and showed that love in whatever way he could. We hope to continue to love in the way he loved…the way that Christ loved.

Most importantly, Dad taught us how to live as Christ would in our daily lives. Through his love for people, his solid and unwavering faith in his Savior, and his servant’s heart Dad tried to be Jesus and encouraged others to do the same. We would be remiss to not express Dad’s passion for Jesus Christ and his life’s mission to try and make sure that everyone else got to know Him as well. We never would have wished our father to have cancer, and worse yet, to die from it, but we also are continually amazed to see the amount of lives that Dad touched during his fight with the disease. Many a doctor, nurse, and random other patient was softly spoken to by Dad. He made them smile with his sense of humor and made them think as he witnessed to them through his words and actions. His heart’s desire to spread Christ has become our hearts desire. We want you all to see our Dad again, and to rejoice with us one day in heaven.

Our Dad is an amazing man. His legacy will live on in our lives and in many others as well. Some will remember his smile, others his voice as he led the church in song. There may be some that remember a specific sermon he gave, or a note or scripture he shared. For us, we remember the way he called us Squirt, Peanut, and Munchkin. We remember the sound of the garage door when he came home from work. We remember the way he laughed at a really funny story, and the way he held us when we cried. We remember holding his hand and we remember the way he would say, “I love you so much.” It was our honor and privilege to share our Dad with you and we’re glad we won’t be the only ones that remember him. We love you Daddy, we always will.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Calling Hours and Memorial Service for Dave will take place at Calvary Church, 498 White Plains Road, in Trumbull, Connecticut 06611.

Calling Hours: Friday, March 25, from 4:00 to 8:00 pm
Memorial Service: Saturday, March 26, at 1:00 pm

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be given to the Calvary Church Memorial Fund. These gifts in Dave's memory, will be used equally for The Sudan Project and the Calvary Church Building Fund.

It can be said of Dave.....

It can be said of Dave, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, will award to me on that day....." (2 Timothy 4:7&8). Dave's battle with lymphoma came to an end early this morning as he went to be with Jesus. He is completely healed!

While this is a sad time we do not "grieve like people who have no hope." (1 Thessalonians 4:23)
We know that as he took his last breath on this earth, he was instantly being welcomed by his Father in heaven. He is rejoicing in the presence of his Savior.

At this point, no arrangements have been made but they will be posted when available. The family rests in Jesus at this difficult time. Please pray as arrangements are finalized and also for family who will be traveling.
Posted by Calvary Staff

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Journey Continues

Although Dave's health continues to decline, he is experiencing discomfort rather than the severe pain of the past months. Thank you for your continued prayers as this is a direct answer to prayer. The girls were at home this past weekend loving on their Dad and helping with his care. Hospice is helping provide more comfort for Dave. Krista and Elise will be returning on Wednesday to be with their Dad. They know his days on earth are coming to an end and they want to spend as much time with him as they can. Your prayers and many expressions of love continue to sustain the family. Please pray for: Krista's and Elise's flights home; relief from discomfort; a meaningful time with family in coming days; wisdom as they care for Dave each day.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Difficult days....

Well.....he's home! Somehow, "coming home from the hospital" has the connotation of someone getting better. However, right now, we as a family are trying to wrap our minds around the fact that Dave is not getting better. Even though the infection he had was successfully treated and even though he did get several units of blood and platelets during the 4 days he was at the hospital, he is still gradually losing his battle with cancer. This is no surprise to God; we know that God is sovereign and He will not take Dave home one day sooner than He originally planned. But we will confess that this is a very difficult time for us.....we were hoping to have our dad/husband around for many more years. We are totally trusting in God's plan, His timing and His will, knowing He is our LOVING heavenly Father and will see us through whatever lies before us. We don't walk this road alone....we're so thankful He is right beside us!

We have been so encouraged by the many ways you have reached out to us and we have been upheld by your prayers! In these difficult days that lie ahead, can we ask that you continue to hold us up in prayer and ask that God's strength, comfort and peace be ours? We would really appreciate that! Thank you again for your expressions of love!

~ Andrea and the girls

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Quick update

Just got the word that Dave is going to be discharged from the hospital today. He does need some platelets and/or blood before leaving, but at least he will be able to come home when that is done. Again, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Update on Dave

Dave was admitted to the hospital on Sunday evening and is being treated for an infection. He is also receiving blood and platelets. At this point, it is not certain when he will be returning home but please continue to check this blog. His mother and brother are flying in today for a brief visit. Thank you for your continued prayers and expressions of love.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Where we are today...

This is Andrea posting this time. It is hard to believe that it’s been 2 weeks since our last post. In one sense, it has gone so quickly and in another, it seems like a very long time, with the days running together. It’s been a blur of activity – radiation treatments, trips back and forth to the hospital, family visits, doctor appointments, some “complications”, etc. We were very happy to see that the heart complication which necessitated a short hospital stay was taken care of by a new medication.

Thank you for your continued prayers, cards, emails, gifts, offers of help, etc. which remind us that we are part of the family of God and He is caring for us in more ways than we could ask or imagine through this difficult time. We are so humbled and blessed by your love and prayers!

Dave enjoyed a wonderful visit with his brother and sister last week. It was so great for us to reconnect with them as distance and the “grown up children stage” of our lives has prevented us from seeing them very much over the last several years. This weekend, we are so excited to have all three of our girls home again! We are soaking in every minute! Then, this next week, Dave’s brother is flying in with his mom for a few days. It is a flurry of activity, but time that will be well spent and very much needed.

I’d like to be able to report that things are going well and Dave’s strength is increasing, but that isn’t the case. While the radiation has provided relief of the lower back pain, we continue to have a “roller coaster” ride of physical symptoms and, as a result, emotions. There are good days and bad days; then there are better days and really awful days. It has been difficult to fight discouragement, but we are continually reminded of God’s sovereignty and His love.

So the big question is, “How is Dave doing?” Physically, the cancer is spreading and causing many complications. His mobility has still not returned. Although the radiation has removed the cancer from the lower spinal cord/nerve endings, the doctor said that nerves can take a while to mend and it will probably be a while before he can stand/walk again. We are trying to work on exercises to keep the muscle tone in his legs.

The radiation and some of the meds he needs upset his stomach and he doesn’t feel much like eating. His weight is down, but we are pumping down as much good food in him as we can get, bits at a time. Some of the medication also impedes his concentration, making writing emails or having long conversations difficult for him. Recently, he started with some lightheadedness and dizziness, causing difficulty focusing his eyes as well as a nauseous feeling.

We thought some of the meds and/or low blood counts were causing this dizziness but both were ruled out on an MRI of his head this past Thursday. Results showed that there is cancer involvement in the brain. He began radiation treatment to the head the same day. This should help alleviate the dizziness and allow him to focus clearly without the world “spinning around him”.

Although it seems to us that we keep receiving more bad news than good news, we know that it is just the nature of an aggressive cancer. Unless God intervenes with a miracle, his condition will continue to worsen. Of course, we continue to pray for a miracle…but we also pray that God will give him grace and courage for each day and for minimum discomfort.

Spiritually, I have been reminded of these verses over and over again, “ ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’"

As a family, our “way” is that God would heal Dave completely. We have been praying for that and believing that God can do that! It seems, however, from the physical symptoms which we are observing, that God may have another “way” than what we’d like to see.

Does that mean He is not good and gracious and loving and kind? Absolutely not! It just means that sometimes we never will see what God is doing through His “ways” on this earth. But we know He IS in control and He IS working out His plan and He IS changing and transforming lives through all of this. We just may have to wait until we get to heaven to see how He worked through it all.

From a human standpoint, we may not like being the “instrument” that He works through or being the ones that He teaches lessons through BUT from an eternal standpoint, “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” To God be the glory….we pray that we will live our lives as a testimony to His great love and power. The road is difficult, but we know that God is giving us the strength for each minute of each day.

While we would love to visit with so many of you, Dave’s physical condition is too weakened to do that. His white counts are extremely low and so is his physical strength and stamina. Please understand if he does not reply/respond to emails or voicemails. Good days have become fewer and far between. But know that we are so uplifted by your words of encouragement and love and by your prayers.

Thank you for standing with us in prayer. We could not walk this journey without God’s help! Every day we are reminded of your love, encouragement, support and prayers! Thank you for taking the time to express this to us …. it is really appreciated!