A Long Summer

Body:
When last we met on this blog the suspense was building as the doctor was weighing different treatment options. (a little humorous review:-) Well, the suspense was ended on Thursday when I went for a blood test. (By the way, there were significant improvements in my blood levels.) Because I hadn't received a phone call from the doctor, I asked the nurse if she could find out what he had planned. They answered "big time!" They dumped the whole truckload. I met with the assistant and with the transplant coordinator. They told me all that is projected to take place and gave me a rough timeline for these events...which can be summarized with this blog title: A Long Summer!

Next week I will be an inpatient at Yale for three days (Tuesday -- Thursday) to receive a new and very potent chemo followed by 12 daily shots to boost blood levels until the collection of my stem cells for the future transplant. Then, after meeting with the doctor about a week later, I'll be an inpatient at Yale again for four days (Wednesday -- Sunday) for another type of chemo. After this, there will be a couple weeks of monitoring blood levels in preparation for another doctor's appointment and the intensive chemo that prepares me for the stem cell transplant.

Key point: This will be an "all summer" situation...and well into September.

Spirit:
I must confess I wasn't ready for that...and I've spent the last couple days processing it. I found the "Why?" question pushing its way to the surface...which is usually the prelude to a "pity party" focused on the injustices of life and even suspicions about God's plan. There was also a heaviness as I thought about the summer and the challenges before me...a lot of unfamiliar territory. The seriousness of my condition and the lengths to which doctors were going to go to fight this cancer added to the heaviness of my heart. Finally, there were complaints in my spirit about the way the hospital staff dumped this truckload of information on me...and then sent me on my way.

Summary: I wasn't in a very good place.

So what has made the difference in these days as I have processed these realities? There are a couple of observations that have helped me. First, I realized I was living the whole summer, all the treatments, the seriousness of the condition, and the myriad of unknowns in a single moment of time! That's a pretty heavy load...and it is one God never intended me to carry. His grace is measured out for each day and I can't carry tomorrow's struggles today and have enough grace to carry the load. Some would state the principle this way, "One day at a time." I would prefer to state it this way, "Yet I call this to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.'" (Lam. 3:21-24) Granted, it's a little longer...not as pithy or memorable, but infinitely more meaningful to the believer.

Second, reflecting on the truths of the passage I'll be preaching on Sunday had a wonderful calming and re-focusing effect. The truth of Scripture always does that. In Ephesians 6:23-24 there are four key blessings that Paul prays God will give to the believers: Peace, Love, Faith, and Grace. How can you NOT be re-focused if you spend a little time reflecting on these words? God wants my life to be marked by His peace, love, faith, and grace. Wow! How blessed I am!

So, with renewed focus, perspective and appreciation, I wait expectantly for the Lord's provision for every challenge that comes my way because, as a blog I am familiar with says, "Hope does not disappoint!"