A New Chapter

Body: As many of you know, I am heading into a new chapter in this battle with cancer. It is the radiation chapter. I have had a lot of questions about this chapter and was able to have a meeting with my oncologist of the past three years today. It was a very helpful meeting for me and I share some of the details with you.

Chemo has taken me almost as far as it is able. There are one or two more things that could be tried, but this cancer is just very resistant to most of the chemos that are available. What was very encouraging to me is that the doctor spoke with the radiologist and has great confidence in his training and skill to do the work that needs to be done. Also, the doctor is confident that even though the cancer has grown significantly, the type of radiation being given will be broad enough to encompass the entire area affected. Also, thus far, the resistant cancer appears to be localized in a relatively small area so the radiation may be very effective in removing it.

Two prayer requests as I start this journey on Wednesday: first, pray that the radiation would be effective in destroying the cancer it is targeting. There are situations where it is resistant even to radiation. Second, pray that the cancer is truly localized and when destroyed doesn't "spring up" in another spot at another time.

Thanks!!

Spirit: "Your Son Will Live" John 4:50

A distraught father seeks whatever help he can find for his dying son. The situation is grave and he has heard that the Man who is said to have turned water into wine some time ago has returned to Cana of Galilee. His home in Capernaum is not that far from Cana. It wouldn't matter if it was much further!! It couldn't hurt -- a last ditch effort to save his son -- so he goes to request a miracle of Jesus.

As this man pours out his heart to Jesus, he requests that Jesus come to Capernaum to heal his son. In His response, Jesus shares His concern with His growing popularity, "Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders you will never believe." The crowds are looking for signs and wonders; Jesus is looking for faith.

Jesus finds just the right way to perform a miracle to meet the need of this man AND at the same time, grow the man's faith. Jesus says, "You may go. Your son will live." This wasn't the plan the father had in mind. Jesus was supposed to accompany him to Capernaum and heal his son. Now Jesus tells him to go home; that the son will live.

Do you see what Jesus has done? He has performed the miracle and at the same time challenged the man's faith. Will the father trust Jesus? The next sentence reads, "The man took Jesus at His word and departed." Faith grows in the father and his son is healed.

I really like the "son is healed" part of this story. I'm not as wild about the "faith grows" part...unless it is linked to the healing. Yet to Jesus, THAT is the most important part.

What has God been up to in this cancer? He knows I have cancer and that I desire healing. He could have kept this cancer from becoming aggressive. He could have healed me after one round of chemo. He certainly knows how unsettling the yo-yo of PET scan results is: bad, good, bad. Why isn't the radiation phase of treatment a "sure thing?" Do you see the issue? I'm just like that father. I keep pressing Him for the miracle. He keeps pressing for the trust.

So, will I "take Jesus at His word"? Will I exchange my priority for His? Will I trust Him and desire Him more than the miracle I seek? Will I exchange my natural desire of healing for His desire for faith growth?

Is my confidence based on doctors' prognoses, probabilities, skills, and treatment options? Or is it based on a look at the Savior's face knowing that He can heal -- no matter what the odds are?

The title of this blog is "Hope Does Not Disappoint." Hope is faith projected into the future. Do I really believe that whatever He plans will be right, satisfying, good, and pleasing? Yes, I do!

"Please, Lord, help me in my struggle to believe, rest and wait on You. May Your priority of faith development shape my focus on healing. Help me to ask well, but trust better!"