Slow Progress

Body: Progress has been measured in millimeters, not meters in recent days. I just haven't felt well and it isn't one specific thing, it is several. Blood levels have continued to remain low after the initial encouragement with the white blood cells. The reason: they stopped the booster shots so they could see how my body was doing on its own in manufacturing whites, reds and platelets. And, it wasn't doing too well.

On Saturday, my heart was "acting up" with some irregular heartbeats due to the atrial fibrillation. I had to take one of the heart pills which "whacked" me pretty hard. Discouraging.

On Sunday I went in to Yale to check my blood levels and everything was down. So, they gave me a bag of blood which wiped me out for the rest of the day...very discouraging.

Yesterday I just felt lousy all day. Couldn't pin it down, but there were several things that just weren't right...even more discouraging.

Today, however, I went back to Yale for an echocardiogram (for the cardiologist) and for a blood levels check and for the first time in a long time everything was moving in the right direction. Not anything major, but small, definite progress. How grateful I was for this wonderful encouragement. I felt much better today and I don't have to go back until Friday for another blood test.

Also, I received word that my next PET scan will be on Tuesday, October 5, so I ask you to keep that in prayer.

Spirit: "Meanwhile, back at the ranch...."

In spite of some of the struggles of the past couple of weeks, I must tell you that I have been deeply ministered to and encouraged by the men of our church. In the midst of struggle, the Lord always knows how to bring encouragement. This past Saturday, twenty-four guys descended on our house with paint brushes, ladders, enthusiasm and hearts of gold. Seven-and- one-half hours later, the exterior of our house was painted -- trim and siding! What a great demonstration of love and concern for a brother who just couldn't do the work.

These guys worked hard and did excellent work. The house is beautiful and my family and I are so grateful. I've included some pictures of the event in progress so you can see the great blessing I received.

So there you have it; the body ministering to one another that God might be glorified and needs might be met.

Quick Update

Body: I am home!! I was able to come home last night after receiving two transfusions (reds and platelets) yesterday. It was great to be home.

But here is the exciting news (to me...act excited): Saturday's white cell count was .1; Sunday's was .2; Monday's was .8; and today, it was up to 2.7!! It appears those stem cells have found homes and are starting to do some work!! Thanks for rejoicing with me.

Spirit: I thank God for His faithfulness and this encouragement; His Name is near.

Continue to pray about the low grade fever with which I have struggled and the stabilizing of the blood levels (the reds and platelets, especially). Thanks so much.

Sunday Worship

Body: It has been more than a week since I last published an update...and the reason is simply that I outlined the process in the last blog and we have just been in the implementation phase, which takes time.

The intensive chemo was received last Wednesday and Thursday (Sept. 1 & 2); the stem cell transplant went well on Friday (Sept. 3). The doctors indicated that the following two weeks would be a challenge as the blood levels dropped and side effects were experienced.

I've found that to be true:-) as the blood levels did indeed drop to a point that by Wednesday (Sept. 8) I was hospitalized as a precautionary measure to prevent infection and to monitor my heart closely. And the hospital is where I've been since Wednesday!! It gets old being in a hospital, even one as fine as Yale-New Haven. Rooms and services are wonderful and the staff has been a joy to get to know...but I'd rather be home and in ministry.

Yesterday was a difficult day as the blood levels continued to be very low and my stomach was more upset than usual. However, today I have been feeling much better and even got to take a shower this morning! My port line was out for a couple of hours so I caught a real shower which felt great (now you know the real reason they wouldn't allow visitors:-)). Also this morning, I believe I saw the first signs of my body starting to recover. My white count went from .1 to .2 (that's a 100% increase!!)...small but real!

So the couple of days will determine the length of my sojourn here at Yale and I would appreciate you praying that those stem cells would find a nice home in my bone marrow and start to really go to work!!

Spirit: His Name Is Near Psalm 75:1

This passage has caught my eye before but it had special significance this morning as I was here in a hospital room and not with my church family at Calvary.

Asaph begins with the familiar theme of giving thanks to God. However, the reason he gives thanks is unexpected. The typical reasons for which I thank God are many: for His greatness; for His great works; for His forgiveness; for His loving kindness; for.... I could go on and on. But Asaph doesn't thank God directly for these. He gives thanks "for Your Name is near."

What an interesting statement. As I have reflected on it, two things stand out. First, is the issue of His constant presence. He is "near." I wasn't able to be in church this morning, but He was near as I worshiped Him in a hospital room. Meanwhile, my church family worshiped Him in Trumbull...and He was near. I received a text from Moses this afternoon and I think about the believers he led in worship in Pageri, New Sudan today...and God was near. There is no place any of us can go where He is not "near." How comforting and challenging...all at the same time.

Second, Asaph's choice of the phrase "Your Name" really is a very powerful expression which broadens the application of this passage. God's Names express truth about His character. Since He is infinite, there is no single Name that can fully describe Him. So, rather than pick one Name or "descriptor" of Him, which would limit his thanksgiving, Asaph includes them all, by using the general "Your Name."

So, whatever quality or characteristic of God was needed at any moment, Asaph could give thanks because THAT quality was near!! As I was in the hospital room this morning I could give thanks because the God who is Peace, the Healer, the Stronghold and the Encourager was near. And for each one who met in Trumbull today to worship, they could give thanks because the God who is the Refuge, the Shepherd, the Provider, the Banner, the All-Powerful One, the Rock, the Savior, the Faithful One was there with them...whatever their need.

"(I) give thanks to You, O God, (I) give thanks, for Your Name is near...." and that is sweet!!

Stem Cells Reclaimed!!

Body: After two days of intensive chemo (Wed. & Thurs.), I received the stem cell transplant on Friday. Those of you who have been following this journey know that those stem cells are actually my own and were gathered in late July and frozen. So, now they are back in my own body and getting ready to rebuild the bone marrow which the intensive chemo is wiping out (along with any remaining cancer...hopefully).

While I'm definitely experiencing side effects, I am very grateful that I have not been feeling too badly. I was able to spend some time outside cutting the grass today and have felt well enough to eat.

Beginning tomorrow, I will be heading to Yale each morning for blood work which will determine just what treatments are needed (platelets, transfusion, fluids, etc.). Blood levels are expected to drop and by Wednesday I will most likely be admitted to the hospital to monitor my condition carefully. The doctor expects this hospitalization could last up to a week.

Spirit: "Praise Awaits You" Psalm 65:1

David makes a strong statement as he begins this Psalm. He indicates that as God enters Zion He can expect to receive praise. As he goes on through the Psalm, he describes why God can expect praise - - from His forgiveness, to answered prayer, to His kind deeds, to the wonderful land, to the provision of rain and crops, to the sheer bounty -- God is good and gracious to His people!

Can God expect praise every time He comes to the sanctuary of my heart? The same provisions David describes in the Psalm are experienced by me on a daily basis. However, praise is not what He can expect, sadly, on many occasions from my life. While I know He understands the hurts of hearts and the Gethsemane struggles we face, isn't or shouldn't there be opportunity for Him to expect praise for His presence, goodness and grace in my life? (See Psalm 63:2-5)

That needs to be at the core of my being today. It will shape my focus and my priorities. It will also affect that which God can expect when He visits the sanctuary of my life.

"Lord, may that be true of me during these next days and beyond as I enjoy Your blessings even as I struggle with Your choice of path at times. You deserve my praise...always. Come, Lord, and receive the praise that is due You."